Melancholia

Dont know what's the matter with me but I just can't get started today. I feel a bit melancholy. I looked up melancholy in the dictionary to be sure that it espressed my feelings. It says, nostalgia, angst, distress, ,disconsolate, cheerless. and on and on. I dont know if my mood truly reflects angst or distress but I surely dont feel like kicking up my heels. Now if I want to dissect the reasons behind this "malaise" I might start here---- Recently an old friend of ours returned from out of state to the family "ranch" a little ways out of town from us. My husband has been out to see him a few times. They have always been very close buddies. Yesterday they were talking about "old times" and the subject of age raised its ugly head . Our friend is only in his fifties, a lot younger than us. When my husband reminded him that he ( my hubby) was 62, our friend was shocked with disbelief. It hadnt occurred to him that so much time had passed. But then when my age was mentioned (70) he couldnt beleive it!
Well neither can I. Most of the time though, my age isn't a concern .
When it really bothers me is when I have to do something physically demanding and I can't because of my C.O.P.D.. ( chronic obstructive pulminary desease) which by the way, I brought upon myself by smoking for too many years and not giving it up soon enough. It is very depressing when I can't garden without becoming breathless very soon. I can do very little without having difficulty breathing. I pi--es me off! I have the will to do it all but not ability. Now THAT makes me feel old! I have always been "young at heart" but some days its so hard to think youn when I dont feel that way. Enough of this whining. My message for today when it all comes down to it is IF YOU SMOKE GIVE IT OR DIE! no kidding